We all need mentorship. People who support us by listening, reflecting back, and witnessing us.
My mom has been my easiest go-to for support and guidance most of my life. I feel fortunate. She sees me for who I am, knows my faults and positive traits, and speaks to all of it when I’m challenged by life’s circumstances.
Growing into a mature woman had me reaching out into the broader scope of the world and seeking mentors who have more experience, capacity, and wisdom in specific areas I wanted to grow into. Then began the real work…
Hearing feedback that made me look at myself truthfully and uncomfortably was not easy at first. Seeing how I could be more responsible in my relationships, profession, health, and other areas of my life meant I couldn’t continue to blame other people and my past. I began taking ownership over the influence and power of my choices in my own life, and my options expanded.
These days I lean into those uncomfortable places. Not because I know what I’m doing but because I don’t know any other way to be. I still get attached to things going the way I would like them to be going versus how they are going, and I’ve learned to move more gracefully through these transitions.
More recently my focus is on self love. Not only because I think it will improve my relationship with myself but because I find that when I’m not practicing self love, I lose patience with other people. I can often see a way through something and think, if they’d only “listen to me” things would turn out great for us all. But as we all know, that’s often not the way it goes. Frustrations abound as we each have our own will and for vast reasons we see things differently and make choices from a variety of places.
One of my mentors pointed out… until I have more patience, acceptance and love for myself, I can’t possibly offer it to others. *sigh* And so I embark on deepening my self love.
One of the places I know I fail the most is not holding healthy boundaries. Saying “no” is difficult when I feel obligated or bound somehow to a sense of responsibility to “do the right thing” based on some moral upbringing that doesn’t necessarily translate to the best choice in all circumstances. More often, it leads to resentment and burn out in my experience. So I’m working on it. All of it. The discernment, the boundaries, speaking up, and over all, Self Love. Caring for and looking out for myself and meeting my own needs so I’m not expecting others to do so much.
I will always be a giver. That will never stop. I love showing up for others and doing those sweet unexpected things that melt hearts and inspire. I want to continue to be able to do those things, which requires me to fill my own cup first with things like: sleep, balanced diet, exercise, journaling, walking, nature connection, dancing, time with loved ones, beautifying my space, playing, and enjoying my life.
I’m ever grateful for my mentors–spiritual, professional, and personal. In the arena of growth, what I know to be true is that possibilities are endless. I can always look for betterment of some kind in some area of my life. Having an outside perspective excels that journey immensely. My timidity dissolves because I’m not alone as I move into unfamiliar territory. I understand that my resistance comes from my fear of having to leave behind the things I’ve identified with in the past. I’m reminded by those I admire and respect that if they can do it, I can consider that a door is held open for me to do it, too. And in my own way… that becomes my true journey!
If you’d like to explore this in your own life with the support of a coach, please let me know. You can connect with me one-on-one, through an upcoming event, or by joining my next Women’s Mastermind.