I have always been a believer in magic.
When I was about 3 years old I spent hours in my room by myself playing music, dressing up, and having tea parties with my stuffed animals. Imagination was huge for me. Growing up, I watched a lot of Disney movies and my aunts encouraged me to dream of impossible things. I sang a lot and thrived on the attention and influence I had on others.
Later in life, after separating from the father of my children, I went through one of the most difficult growth experiences of my life. When I initially moved out I had very little income and two small children under the age of 7. I found an affordable studio living downstairs from a friendly family with two young children around the same age as my own. They had set up the studio with a hot plate and I had to figure out how to do my dishes in the bathroom sink. We shared a futon bed though the luxuries were a beautiful fireplace, a huge closet that spread across the wall the length of the room, a laundry room one room over, and a deck looking over the spacious garden. The family became our friends and still are today. We’d have dinners and they let us use their oven for baking whenever we needed. We could walk to the beach down a neighborhood trail. Truly, for having limited resources, we had landed in an ideal home that first year.
Getting clear that I needed a separate bedroom for my kids and a kitchen, the next home I found was two bedrooms with a bathtub, a full kitchen, and a living room with a wood-burning stove up in the mountains among the healing redwoods. The drive was tremendous but I will never forget the pride I felt in being able to provide a real home for myself and my children.
We moved into town the next time we needed to find a new home. The Westside again provided a walk to the ocean and we shared the two-story 3-bedroom with another single mom and her daughter who was the same age as my own daughter. For her, it was like living with a friend and we had a great time making meals and watching movies together. Eventually, they moved out and we had a few housemates come and go. It was a big house with high ceilings and each room had its own bathroom so there was plenty of space for everyone to have privacy and room to do their own thing. The owner lived in the studio out back and his vision for renting out the main house was to create affordable housing for whomever he rented to. There had been a woman previously who had a big tropical bird as a pet and she created a caged area off of the front wraparound deck. We purchased a few doves to keep creating an aviary of a sweet cooing family as they nested and hatched new babies more than a couple of times. People walking by would stop to admire them, smile, and point. It was comforting to hear the birds singing away.
The last year we lived there, I had an opportunity to take my kids on a European tour for 4 weeks. The landlord would not let us sublet and I couldn’t afford to pay rent AND travel so I chose to move out, put my things in storage, and trust that we would find a home when we returned. For anyone living in Santa Cruz County, you know this was a huge risk to take. I didn’t want to miss the chance to take my kids out in the world for a unique and life-changing experience at the ages they were. So I did it. On top of that, I started each of my kids in private schools, coming up with huge deposits right before we left on our adventure.
Coming up with the funds and organizing everything for us all (including my mom coming with us to Europe- she had never been) was nothing short of a magical miracle. I asked for help, borrowed money I paid back later, and brought in the most income in a month than I ever had before.
We had a life-changing trip. My kids still remember it today. My mom, daughter, and I have continued to visit the old world several times, I believe, as a result of the seeds planted on that trip. It influenced my son’s art which he still takes time for and has even held art shows!
When we returned we did some house sitting before we got a lead on a place my dad’s client owned, again in the woods. I was hoping to find something in town though I grudgingly went to take a peek. I said to myself, “if I were to settle and live away from town, what would I absolutely need to have this work for me?” Right away my subconscious answered. “A bathtub.”
I walked into the house and straight ahead of me was the bathroom. I could see the huge jacuzzi tub from the doorway, sunlit with a stained glass window above it of an angel pouring a vessel of water down towards the tub. This was obviously my new home.
We lived there for many years after that, hiking into the nearby state park and having lovely meals out on the deck circled by redwoods. My kids finally had their own rooms and there was a young boy across the street the same age as my son (not mentioning there were 7 houses on our street most of which were vacation homes).
So yes, I believe in magic. My life has been sprinkled with synchronicities and visions plucked from my heart on more than several occasions. I don’t feel lucky, I feel blessed. You could call it manifesting powers, faith, or belief in angels or guardians of sorts. I call it being in touch with something bigger than myself….God, Goddess… coupled with my own willingness to trust and put myself out on a limb here and there. Pushing my comfort zones just enough while leaning into practical tools and growing myself in ways that didn’t come naturally to me at the same time.